Caitlin Liveblogs 50 Shades Freed: Chapter 3 [Part 3]
I’m still raging over the fact that Christian tried to justify what he did by saying it was because she took her bikini top off on the beach.
I have a feeling this chapter will only get worse.
LETS FIND OUT.
…Never mind. They both just apologize (because that makes it okay. Apologies TOTALLY make welts/bruises just disappear) and now everything is totally fine and dandy and GUESS WHAT they’re going to go eat food WOW HOW EXCITING.
And then after dinner they dance together and Christian is perfect at it, of course.
OH AND THEN MAKE-UP SEX.
This is literally the most predictable book I have ever read.
OH SWEET JESUS CHRIST DRESSED IN DRAG.
HE’S GOING TO SHAVE HER.
DOWNTHERE.
I AM READING AN “EROTIC” NOVEL THAT CONTAINS A PUBE-SHAVING SCENE.
THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST AWKWARD THING OF MY LIFE.
“It’s just wrong!” My voice is prissy and whiney.
“This isn’t wrong—this is hot.”
Hot? Really? “This turns you on?” I can’t keep the astonishment out of my voice.
He snorts. “Can’t you tell?” He glances down at his arousal. “I want to shave you,” he whispers.
I’m sorry, I just had to use that gif.
Ugh and then they go shopping for art because they’re rich bastards and can just do that.
UGH AND THEN:
“It’s the hickeys I don’t like,” I whisper. “Everything else…what you did”—I lower my voice even furhter—“with the handcuffs, I enjoyed that. Well, more than enjoyed. It was mind-blowing. You can do that to me again anytime.”
So she’s mad because he gave her hickeys.
But she ISN’T mad that he intentionally gave her alcohol, told her not to pee, handcuffed her hands and ankles together causing bruises and welts, and then fucked her, all as a kind of punishment for taking her goddamned top off at a goddamned topless beach.
Oh and then apparently there was a fire at the Grey house (I think the house they just bought? Or it might be his parents house? I don’t fucking know. It’s just called “Grey House” and we’re just expected to know what that is). No one was injured (OF COURSE NOT. NOTHING BAD EVER FUCKING HAPPENS IN THESE BOOKS EXCEPT FOR HICKEYS) and Christian tells Ana not to worry.
Ughh I hate this book so much right now. E.L. James should be put on trial for her crimes against literature.
