So Christian seens Ana out on a Jet Ski, which he had expressly forbidden, but Ana pulled what she clearly thought was a “clever trick” and didn’t ask his permission, although she told Taylor that he said it was okay.
I definitely thought he would be pissed, but he actually calls her and says it’s okay, as long as she’s careful.
COULD THIS BE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?!
Probably not. I’m sure he just told her to go have fun so he had more time to get his murder-room ready on the boat for when she gets back.
OH AND THEN ANA FEELS THE NEED TO EMAIL HIM TO THANK HIM.
BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T THANK HIM ON THE GODDAMNED PHONE.
So Ana goes shopping and picks out what sounds like the gaudiest bracelet (because she’s so “unique” and “different”).
It’s a little silver ankle bracelet with small hearts and little bells. It tinkles sweetly and it costs five euros.
Bells? Are you a fucking cat?
As soon as I’ve bought it, I put it on.
MOST USELESS SENTENCE IN LITERATURE, RIGHT HERE.
NINE WORDS. NINE WORDS JUST TO TELL ME THAT YOU PUT AN UGLY BRACELET ON YOUR STUPID WRIST.
Those 9 words could have told me how the bracelet felt against your skin, how the metal was cool, or how the clasp caught on your arm hair, or how the bells jingled and it reminded you of the cat you once had in your youth.
GOD THIS WRITING IS SO BORING. URGHHH.
This is me—this is what I like. Immediately I feel more comfortable. I don’t want to lose touch with the girl who likes this, ever. Deep down I know that I’m not only over-whelmed by Christian himself but also by his wealth. Will I ever get used to it?
WOW E.L. JAMES YOU ARE SO SUBTLE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY HERE.
You’re supposed to IMPLY all these things. The last three sentences aren’t necessary. Your readers should be able to figure out all of those things for themselves. Your audience is old enough (or at least they SHOULD be old enough…) to understand these things.
Whatever. I need to stop being so bothered by the writing itself and just focus on the glaring issues with the characters and plot, because if I focus on all the things Ms. James is doing wrong I will literally explode with rage.