Caitlin Liveblogs 50 Shades Freed: Chapter 5 [Part 3]
OH SHIT CAR CHASE.
AND ANA IS DRIVING.
AWWWWSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT
AAAAAAAAaaaaand apparently Ana is a fucking stunt driver.
Isn’t she suppose to be clumsy?
Oh, right, I forgot, she’s only clumsy when it’s convenient. Because that’s how clumsiness works.
And Ana is all worried about getting pulled over and getting a ticket, and Christian is all “oh don’t worry about it.”
“Have you had a speeding ticket driving this?”
“No,” he says, but glancing quickly at him, I can see his smirk.
“Have you been stopped?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“Charm, Mrs. Grey. It all comes down to charm.”
Oh so THAT’S how you get out of a ticket? Wow, thanks Christian! I just have to CHARM the cops! Why has no one else thought of this!
And I’m sure this “charm” has nothing to do with how much fucking money you have, and how every time you get pulled over you probably give the cop like $10,000 and an autograph and go on your merry way.
So Ana parks the car perfectly, and then they start cuddling, and then GUESS WHAT they decide to have car sex.
GOOD.
IT’S NOT LIKE YOU WERE JUST INVOLVED IN A CAR CHASE OR ANYTHING.
AND THE GUY WHO WAS CHASING YOU IS DEFINITELY NOT STILL OUT THERE SEARCHING FOR YOU.
Apparently E.L. James thinks car-sex is something really exotic and exciting.
I mean, I guess it can be, I just always associate car-sex with awkward teenagers who don’t know what they’re doing.
And then they get back home and decide to have rough sex. And that’s where the chapter ends.
WHAT A CLIFFHANGER.
No.
