Caitlin Liveblogs 50 Shades Freed: Chapter 12 [Part 2]
I’m still in a rage over that last liveblog. I REALLY hope Christian just fucking snaps and murders Ana and then kills himself. That would be the best ending.
That’s probably insensitive. Or somehow offensive.
DON’T CARE. THEY’RE BOTH TERRIBLE FUCKING PEOPLE AND THEY’RE IN THE WORST RELATIONSHIP EVER. A;SDLFKJA;SEORIAJSEORI
I’m so pissed. Ugh. Whatever.
Oh, and now they’re just fine. No more argument. I don’t think they even really solved ANY of their actual issues, because they didn’t actually TALK about anything. GOD. DAMN. THEM.
And then they fall asleep and then Christian has another stupid nightmare and then when she wakes him up he’s just like ZOMG I NEED TO FUCK YOU RIGHT NOW. Which, honestly, is kind of disturbing because normally when I have a bad dream I just want to cuddle while I reassure myself that the dream isn’t real. Christian was probably having a dream about being abused by his mother’s pimp and/or finding his mother dead and he wakes up out of that dream and just immediately has a boner.
what.
And then he eats her out and she’s all weird about it AGAIN.
AND THEN HE JUST MAGICALLY GETS ANOTHER ERECTION.
I don’t know what dudes E.L. James has been hanging around but I’m pretty sure Erections aren’t that quick to pop back up, since he JUST FINISHED CUMMING LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO.
Whatever. Christian Grey is apparently a sex god. I keep forgetting.
Oh, apparently his nightmare was that Ana was dead. Okay so that’s a little better, but still doesn’t explain why he immediately needed to fuck her.
Maybe he woke up and thought she was still dead and he’s secretly a necrophiliac.
BEST. PLOT TWIST. EVER.
Seriously they have had sex at least 4 times so far this chapter.
STOP.
Oh and now they’re just going to fly to Aspen on his mother fucking private jet because he is a rich motherfucker.
I have literally no tolerance for anything that is happening in this book anymore. I’m so pissed off at all of it. Ugh.
Oh! Christian invited Ana’s lesbian lover Kate (GET TOGETHER ALREADY SERIOUSLY YOU’RE MEANT TO BE) and her boyfriend (who is also Christian’s adopted brother) Eliot, as well as KATE’S brother Ethan, who may or may not be dating Christian’s adopted sister Mia.
What a cluster-fuck of relationships.
[Christian] seems relaxed and happy even though we’re with company. Idly, I wonder why he can’t always be like this—not controlling at all.
BECAUSE HE’S A PSYCHO FUCK-FACE. THAT’S WHY.
WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND. YOU MARRIED A CONTROLLING BAG OF SOGGY DICKS. YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THIS BY NOW.
And then the plane takes off and the chapter ends.
You know, for a chapter that wasn’t very long, it was surprisingly enraging for me. I literally had to take a break from the liveblogs to calm down because I was SO PISSED at both Ana and Christian for being so stupid all the time.
Hopefully the next chapter won’t be so bad.
…but I seriously doubt it.
