I literally have no idea how E.L. James plans to squeeze 2 more chapters out of this plot-line, NOT TO MENTION A FRIGGING EPILOGUE.
Alright, chapter 24, bring it on.
Just so you remember, when we last left off, Ana was in the hospital after being in a coma-like state for like 3 days, and Christian was being an asshole to the nurses and doctors taking care of his wife because that’s just how you’re supposed to act in that situation.
Well, apparently Chapter 24 is a testament to the fact that E.L. James doesn’t know when to end a frigging book. So far this whole chapter has just been Ana rambling about things and it’s been really lame.
Christian did ask the doctor if Ana was healthy enough to have sex, and I guess the doctor said not yet. It will be pretty interesting to see how long it takes them to break that rule.
And then Ana gets released from the hospital and they go back to the apartment and Ana has a weepfest about how she was attacked and all of that stuff, and then Christian decides to give Ana a shower, because she can’t do it herself?
“I’m okay.” I pull his head down to mine and kiss his lips. He’s hesitant to reciprocate, but as my tongue meets his, his body stirs against me.
“No,” he whispers against my lips, and he pulls back. “Let’s get you clean.”
His face is serious. Damn… He means it. I pout, and the atmosphere between us lightens in an instant. He grins and kisses me briefly.
“CLean,” he emphasizes. “Not dirty.”
“I like dirty.”
“Me, too, Mrs. Grey. But not now, not here.”
CHRISTIAN TURNED DOWN SEX.
HE’S ACTUALLY TAKING THE DOCTOR’S ADVICE.
So then I guess Christian found out that Jack kept blackmail videos of him having sex with all his PA’s as well as Elizabeth, the woman who helped kidnap Ana, which I really don’t understand how that’s supposed to justify what Elizabeth did, because if someone had a blackmail video of me being forced to have sex with someone, I’d be like “fuck it, show whoever you want, you can’t use that to force me to kidnap a woman so you can rape her.”
But maybe that’s just me.
And then we find out that Christian and Jack were in the same foster home when they were kids, because Jack had a troubled past too.
And then Christian’s family comes over and then they leave and it’s all really lame and then they leave and then Christian starts telling Ana about how Mrs. Robinson seduced him, but E.L. James cuts off the story and ends the chapter.
THAT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT I WAS ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN HEARING. If E.L. James doesn’t keep that story in there I’m going to be upset.
This chapter was really lame, I’m sorry. It’s hard to make something funny when it isn’t even interesting enough to make fun of.