Christian and Ana are about to have “rough sex.”
A puzzled expression flits across Christian’s face. “Kinky fuckery?” he asks, his words a soft caress.
I nod, feeling my face flame. Why am I embarrassed by this? I have done all manner of kinky fuckery with this man. He’s my husband, damn it! Am I embarrassed because I want this and I’m ashamed to admit it? My subconscious glares at me. Stop overthinking.
I DON’T KNOW ANA. WHY ARE YOU EMBARRASSED BY THIS. WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER YOUR OWN GODDAMNED QUESTION. OR BETTER YET, WHY DON’T YOU ASK YOUR AUTHOR, BECAUSE IT’S BEEN 2.3 BOOKS (GIVE OR TAKE A FEW CHAPTERS) AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU’RE SO WEIRDED OUT BY THIS.
IF YOU’RE THAT WEIRDED OUT BY IT, DON’T DO IT.
Also if you blush one more time in this scene so help me God I will stab you in the eye socket.
ALSO. “All manner of kinky fuckery?”
All of it? You have done all the kinky fuckery there is to do. Really.
Lets make a list.
- Metal vagina balls.
- blindfolding (which didn’t even last the whole sexy-time because your author FORGOT ABOUT IT)
- a belt (which made you leave him even though you asked for it)
- a leather flogger
- a vibrator (OH THE KINKINESS. I CAN’T STAND IT.)
- a butt plug (which was actually just his finger if I recall)
- spreader bars
- nipple clamps
Please, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything.
Out of those 9 things, only about 4 are actually kinky. The rest range from EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER HAS DONE THAT to moderately main-stream.
You’ve never played with hot wax. You’ve never done anything with a whip. You haven’t done role playing (which isn’t that kinky), costumes, bondage (the time he tied your wrists with his tie or whatever doesn’t count. I’m talking full-body bondage, with ropes everywhere), actual anal, suspension, public exhibitions, leashes, collars, knife-play, fire-play, etc etc etc.
So no, you have not done “all manner of kinky fuckery.” You are not a special little snowflake, the things you let him do to you are mostly pretty common, so stop acting like NO ONE HAS EVER DONE SO MANY KINKY THINGS LIKE I HAVE because you’re wrong and I hate you.
And there’s probably more too! I am by no means an expert on BDSM, those are just things I’ve heard of/seen/read about. On the internet. In erotica that is 1000x better written with more believable characters and an actual plot.
So please just stop saying words.