Caitlin. 21. Illinois.
About Me Caitlin Liveblogs Books You Should Read
Writer. Book Lover. College Student.
I'm trying really hard to make this sound interesting.
The school I go to costs a fortune, so I’m already in all kinds of debt thanks to student loans. The degree I’m getting isn’t going to count for shit in the real world, so I’ll be lucky if I make minimum wage, to be honest. Who knows if my writing is ever even going to go anywhere. I don’t know how to live in the fucking world, money confuses the hell out of me, I don’t understand taxes or bills or mortgages. I’m scared of my own fucking shadow, so how the fuck am I ever going to have kids. I don’t know how to make friends. The career I want to go into (writing) isn’t doing so hot because everyone is buying the e-version of everything, which I’m pretty sure means that I as a writer won’t get paid as much for my stories (though I don’t know how likely it is that I’ll get paid for my stories ever, considering the fact that almost no writers are able to make a living off of their writing). Everything is just getting more and more expensive and I don’t have money for anything, and I honestly shouldn’t even spend anything ever because I need to save up to pay for the wedding that I can’t afford now and probably won’t be able to afford in two years. I don’t have my license or a car so that severely limits any jobs that I try and get, and my availability is shit anyway, and I have very little job experience, so zero people are going to hire me, which means, again, that i have no fucking money. Everything I want to do requires money. If/when I finish any of the books I’m working on, I need to find a way to hire a literary agent, and who knows how much that will cost. I could just go solo, but everyone I’ve ever talked to says that’s a really bad idea, unless you know/understand the industry really well (which I don’t). I’m going to be fucking 21 in less than 7 months, which is fucking terrifying, because that means that I’m going to have to figure my shit out soon. I graduate in two years. I’m getting married in two years. Then I have to figure out where to live and how to afford that, and how to be an actual adult because I have no idea what the fuck I’m even doing.
Jesus christ, I’m going to have to plan the wedding during my senior year of college. Fucking awesome. These next two years are literally going to be the most stressful years of my life so far. I really don’t think I can handle this.